I have been thinking about my role as a stepmom lately and about the amazing stepmoms I know. I admire these stepmom ladies so very much and as I try to live up to their awesome examples I see some traits that I definitely want to learn from them. Things that make them Super Stepmoms.
Super Stepmoms are:
It takes a lot to manage all the coming and going in a blended family. Stepmoms with patience learn to accept and manage the circumstances instead of just wishing they were different. Blended family life can be challenging, but a patient stepmom keeps working towards improving family life as a team. It's not easy to hold back when you want to be your husband's number one priority and he needs time with his kids. There are lots of lessons in patience for stepmoms.
Truly loving other people's kids takes a big heart. A Super Stepmom finds a way to put her feelings about her husband's ex away (as much as possible) so that she can love his kids without bitterness towards their mother. When kids know their stepmom cares, they are more easily able to show respect and acceptance. When kids feel the love and support of a stepmom their lives are are transformed and they have a better chance to heal from the pains of their parent's separation and to continue to mature.
Being a Super Stepmom means putting what's best for the family as a whole before your own emotions. It means not being easily offended and being willing to sacrifice for the well-being of the family. Please note this does not mean putting yourself last, it just means being mature enough to not let unregulated feelings and wants put unnecessary stress and pressure on the family unit.
4) A Ray of Sunshine
Being happy and enthusiastic make a world of difference to the people around you. Going out of you way to celebrate family members' successes, making a treat to brighten a heart after a frustrating day, creating laughter and bringing a happy spirit to the home is a fantastic talent of a Super Stepmom. A magnetic personality draws people to a Super Stepmom.
5) Committed For The Long Haul
Being a Super Stepmom means realizing that every day won't be easy, but also that hard days don't mean all is lost. Having an eye for a lifetime of happiness and peace really helps get one through the rough, dark days that come to everyone. Super stepmoms learn to find the joy in ever day and see the light in every person. There's nothing that scares kids more than the idea of seeing their parent go through another divorce and losing another person they've come to depend on. Showing your blended family that you in it, heart and soul, makes for a more secure homebase for everyone.
I love seeing these talents in the Super Stepmoms I know and I so appreciate their amazing examples. There are lots of inspiring stepmoms out there. Look to them and talk to them about how they've done it well. I am sure most still think they could've done a better job or they would've done things differently looking back, but this stepparent life is one in constant motion and comes with no handbook or training. We all have to figure it out and learn what's best for our unique families as we go. I adore the women who are out there trying every day to do it better and live a happy, peaceful life. Super Stepmoms are women who try and keep trying. Sometimes they fail, sometimes they excellently succeed. But they keep on trying with love, patience, cheerfulness and commitment. Hooray for all you Super Stepmoms.