All my people are gone and I am alone this week. Going from family hustle and bustle to complete silence takes some getting used to. Somewhat thankfully, I've been doing this for several years now, so I'm rather used to it, but it never ceases to be unsettling. The difference is that now I have the comfort of knowing that there is a routine to the strange feelings I experience and it's okay to feel weird for a day or two. Then my natural energies kick in and I have so many things I want to accomplish while I have the time that I zip right along and the time usually goes pretty quickly.
But invariably at some point in the day I feel deeply lonely and sad - all alone in the world. It's usually just for an instant or two. Yesterday it was twice. Once when I locked myself out of the house because I lost my keys somewhere between our two cars. One of the cars I had the keys to in my hand, but I feared the keys were locked in the other one. It was stressful and made worse by the feeling that I was all alone and didn't have my backup man. I resolved to get a spare set either hidden somewhere or to a neighbor or both at that moment.
The other moment happens almost daily. It seems to happen at about 9:30 every night. The day is ending, it's dark, and it's too late to call anyone. Thank goodness it passes quickly because it usually strikes as I'm walking around the house cleaning up or putting something away. But it stings intensely for a minute or so.
All this reminds me to not take my loves for granted. Not to let little things annoy me. To appreciate every day that I am tired, worn out and looking at a messy house. The comfort and joy I feel in those days far outshines the loneliness of a perfectly quiet, silent house. Life moves quickly, we lose people we love, kids grow up and move far away. I don't want to regret not appreciating every moment I have with my loves.
I hope I'll remember how I feel today the next time I feel short of patience or fussy about lack of time for myself. Until they do return, I'm taking time for myself to keep myself healthy, happy and strong so that I'll feel good when they return and I'll be good to them too. Must remember how blessed I am despite all the challenges. I am very blessed.
How about you? Do you feel lost when everyone vanishes? Is it hard for you to remember that feeling when all is chaos in the house and you wish you had a magic want to make them all disappear? What do you do to help you remember to appreciate it all? Sending you my very best wishes for peace and happiness in this day!