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It's happened to all of us at some point. We find out someone dislikes us and has been spreading unkind words about us. Now it happens online and we call it cyberbullying. It hurt deeply when this happened to you, didn't it? It's painfully unnerving to find that there are people who wish us ill rather than hope for our best success.
Now imagine being a kid who's suffered through the break up of your home and family and then had your parents invite new spouses into their lives whether you like it or not. And that you're left living a half-life in two places, shuttled between these two homes until your 18-years-old whether you like it or not. Then, stand in that kid's shoes and imagine that the new spouse is sharing gossip about you online.
Live the golden rule. You willingly joined this family. These kids have no choice and are stuck with you (like it or not you aren't perfect either) and with all the circumstances brought into their lives by all the adults' decisions and actions. Have some compassion for these kids and have the maturity to be supportive and kind. And remember what we've always heard, "if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all."
Your spouse deserves your loyalty and best wishes for the success of his children. If you aren't on board with that, you have made a terrible mistake offering to join this family.
I had the opposite happen...I guess you could say that! I created a blog for my stepdaughter, who lives out of state, keeping her updated on her dads family & may I just say her (after her mom discovered it)her mom, aunt, aunts husband, grandmother spoke badly of me! Stepdaughter had messaged me to tell me she appreciated the blog & reads it often! Then, next thing I know, stepdaughter says she doesn't like it, thinks it's weird! (Same thing her mom/family was saying) They've always spoke bad about me! On one hand my stepdaughter has said that they don't & then on the other she says she takes up for me, but "they don't talk about me" It's horrible how things are, it's been this way for 14yrs now! She's now 16, we've hardly seen her in 10yrs because her mother moved out of state 15+ hrs away! Just when we think things are going to be good, there's always a twist/drama & goes right back to the same ole, same ole:( We just hope as she grows into being a mature adult things will one day get better w/out her mom & her family being so involved in her having a good quality relationship w/her dad & family! Until then, her dad will be just the "biological father" as she has referred to him, me well there's been times where I've been told I'm nothing to her-not even her stepmom, & we can hope for the best!
ReplyDeleteI've recently started a new blog that I plan to share many things on that you & other moms/stepmoms, etc. may find interesting!
ReplyDeletehttp://onlythe4ofus4.blogspot.com
Thanks
Dana