Being a stepmom is a ever-changing adventure. We got through diapers, bottles, toilet training, strollers, the alphabet, counting, home pre-school, kindergarten and more. Now suddenly I find myself in new territory. Doesn't it always happen that way, you just get comfortable with a new phase and everything changes on you.
Two weeks ago I was talking with our little one about my sister and the nice man she is dating. I asked Little One what if she thought, if she thought they would get married. She said, "I don't know, what do you think?" I told her I asked her what she thought. She repeated her question and this went back and forth a couple of times.
Then finally I said, "I think he's a great guy. I like the idea of them getting married." Then she said, "NO! She can't get married! No! No! No!" I was very surprised. "And not your other sister either!"
This behavior was so unusual that I had to do some digging into what was causing it. After some conversation, it came out that she was afraid that if they got married and had their own families they wouldn't have time for her and they would forget about her. That broke my heart a little bit, but I reassured her that they would never change how they felt about her or how much they adored her.
A few days later the conversation came up again. Except this time I was the one she feared might forget her. She said if Daddy and I had babies that maybe I wouldn't love her as much or have any time for her. I said, "Are you kidding me. I'm going to need you around more than ever. Babies can't talk. They can't do anything fun in the beginning." We started talking about all the things she could do that they couldn't do and all the things she would be able to teach them. She seemed comforted. I realized I need to keep reminding her of how much love there is all around her. There are more than just a couple of us. There is a whole community surrounding her, loving her and watching out for her.
It was a good reminder to me that I don't always know what's going on in her ever-developing, growing little mind and heart. If I don't talk to her, I am operating without all the information I need to help her and love her best. One thing I do know is that she will always benefit from being show and reminded how much she is loved. We can work through a lot when that most important truth is on the table.