The Golden First Hour After School

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I remember, when I was a part-time nanny during grad school, that the hours of four to six in the afternoon were cause for fear. It seems like it there are going to be any knock-down-drag-out meltdowns, baby cry-a-thons, or other ugly events they were probably going to happen sometime between four and six. Kids are tired, grown ups are tired. It's a powder keg of bad possibilities.

Since having a little one in school, I have quickly learned that immediately after school, as in on our way home, is not a good time to do anything. I've tried the grocery store, I've tried stopping by to say hello to a neighbor, doing art projects, cleaning house...not of these things are good activities to do the first hour after school gets out. (Read between the lines "it was hellish.")

When kids get out of school, they need to be able to just be for an hour. Our little one often plays with her Legos very quietly that first hour. Or she might grab a book and crawl up on her bed. Some days she just needs me to sit with her and have me hold her tight, talk with her and sometimes have a massive tickle session.

So when we get home, I turn her lose for an hour or so, then try to get a few minutes of bedroom cleaning or chores done. Then dinner preparations and homework. After dinner it's time to finish homework, clean the kitchen and living room and then get pajamas on. Hopefully we've given ourselves enough time at this point to have a leisurely time saying bedtime prayers, reading a story and having a chat.

It's amazing how much smoother the evening goes when I give her that first hour of downtime to do whatever she wants. It helps her decompress from the school day, relax after the regimentation of the school environment and to enjoy her space and being at home. I always want her to feel connected and happy about being at home. I think when she has time to just be at home on her own terms, doing what she wants to do, it really fosters that sense of connection I so want her to have.

I've definitely learned that days are much easier when we have quiet free time that first hour after school. My life, her life are much better when we follow that plan as much as is possible. Learning on the job, that is the life of a stepmom.