Teaching Children Good Principles

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While it's a very slippery slope and usually very inappropriate to talk badly to a child about his/her parent, in the face of blatantly bad or even illegal behavior, there is something you can do. Teach young children good principles and teach them to recognize what that means. Teach then to understand the damage that is done by lying, breaking promises, and other bad, dangerous and even illegal behavior. Teach them how to live a happy life and do good things - help them to recognize the rewards of such a life. This can easily be done in many small, daily conversations about every day things and through experiences you have during the day.

Then let them learn the power of discernment. If young children learn that telling a lie is wrong and then see their troubled parent do it, a bell goes off in their heads. Even very young children can tell the difference between good behavior and bad behavior, especially if they are taught well at home. If they understand why something is wrong and the ill effects of such behavior they will quickly learn to recognize it and stand up for themselves and what is right with more convictions.

It may also help them to separate how they feel about themselves from the bad behavior of their parent. When children realize that it is their parent who is making bad choices, they can feel more secure about themselves. They can learn that the behavior is their parent's choice. They will learn that it happens in other relationships other than than just the parent-child relationship. Hopefully that helps them not take bad treatment they may receive as a reflection of their own self worth. If you know a person lies, and lies to everyone, you don't take it so personally. It seems very important to help children separate their parents' decisions from the child's feelings of self worth.

While you might sometimes wish you could act out against bad behavior by another parent, it's a no-win situation. But you can stand up for teaching good principles and helping your stepkids on their way to the best, most successful life they can have. Teaching and reinforcing good principles is a beautiful way to be the best stepmom you can be.