Holiday Traditions And Rotating Custody

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One of the hardest parts about being a blended family is having to split holidays with the kids. A Thanksgiving or a Christmas but never both. That also means no annual traditions that you all participate in. You most likely never will have the kids at the same time every year for annual community events. It's impossible to do an Advent Calendar or Christmas countdown chain because the kids aren't in your home every day.

In spite of all those frustrations I believe that the best thing I can do for my family it to create presence and special moments in the holidays each year. We may not be able to do the same thing every year but we can do special things every year. And by spending time with each other we forge a bond and build memories together that I hope will last a lifetime.

I decorate some on my own and then leave some decorating for our little one for when she is here. I know she doesn't have the long-term interest to do it for a day, but if I leave her an hour of decorating and some special things for her room, she's in heaven. I plan  a few special activities that we can attend together on the days she's with us. Most importantly I try to fill our home with love, affection and comfort. I am continually reminded by the thought that people don't remember what they did as much as they remember how they felt. So creating magical moments in our home are my priority.

This includes singing carols around the fireplace, planning special holiday movie nights, baking cookies for friends and neighbors, going to see special Christmas lights and concerts, and making a few simple craft projects. I try to get simple gifts and not many of them. My focus in on showing that I know what they like and what might make them really happy.

Another thing I try to provide is peaceful calm. The world is so hectic. Being traded back and forth between two homes cannot be easy. But I want my family to feel at home, as ease and at peace when they are here. I light candles, I put on peaceful music in quiet times. I hope they get lots of rest, eat good simple food and have time to unwind and decompress.

These are my holiday traditions. While we give up having our kiddo with us every holiday, which is plenty hard in its own right, making the best of every moment we do have has always brought me cheer, comfort and a focus on what is most important.