Frustrating Teaching Experiences With Kids Pay Off Later

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Two events from the past are fresh in my memory this week. First is the months we spent with dinner time virtually ruined as we struggled with our little one to get her to eat the healthy food on her plate. It became a long, miserable experience to sit down for dinners and deal with a three year old who refused to eat. My stomach would hurt at the end of every meal.

We did not push, but just encouraged her to take 2-5 bites of anything on her plate. She would try to distract us, avoid sitting down, or just ignore us. She would suddenly start rubbing her eyes and complaining of being VERY tired and wanting to go to bed or that she had to go to the bathroom. Once she realized that we would be consistent with our expectations at mealtime, everything changed. Now she is a great eater and will eat almost anything.

She's learned to try two bites of anything new because she realizes now that the first bite of something new is never very likable, but a second try can be good. She will eat mountains of fresh spinach and will try any fruit or vegetable. Every time I am around children who won't eat anything good for them, I thank my stars for an "easy food kid."

The other thing that has very much on my mind lately is when she was two or three and would beg me to let her help to housework. I decided I should try to involve her as much as possible at that age. My hope was that as she got older she would to accustomed to the expectation that she participate in caring for our family and home and that she would have a positive feeling about working in the home because of good experiences she had had with us. This decision meant that often things took much longer than necessary while I threw my speedy flow out the window and allowed her to take part. That often became tedious, especially when we were tired. It also required a lot of patience because sometimes she created way more work than she accomplished.

This week I have been deep cleaning the house and she has been a phenomenal help. She still begs to let her wash the pots and pans. She loves to race against me to finish emptying sections of the dishwasher. And she is still quite young. But she's confident in her place in the home and family. She's been doing small chores around the house for three years now. And she's also not intimidated or annoyed to learn new chores and take on more responsibility. Yes, there are times when she would rather play than work, but it doesn't take much to get her to help out.

The final element of this all is showing lots of appreciation. It's important to us for her to know she is a loved, valuable and very appreciated member of our family. We give a lot of earned praise and lots of love and affection.

These little decisions and things we were consistent on have paid off in a huge way. Now we can look back on those frustrating days and smile with thanks that we made it through and we are reaping the rewards every day. Looking forward to her teenage years, we hope that the time we've invested now will help us get through those days too.