A Good Cry

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Yesterday I had a good chat with Papa Lion, my man, about his daughter and all the excruciatingly painful things we have gone through to protect her and fight for her well-being and safety. At times it has seemed a hopeless effort, one in which our lives seemed destined to be crushed and destroyed by lies and false accusations. We have long feared for our financial sovereignty as the court and legal costs continued to mount into astronomical amounts for a situation that should have been an open and shut case. 

There were times when she was kept from us for days, weeks and even months. We know she has been manipulated and even physically hurt. And we continued to fight. We take every step possible, contact every agency possible, report every issue possible. And we still continue to fight to this day, knowing that family court is nothing if not unpredictable and reckless in its whims and decision making processes. This is a dangerous game we live in and it is not for the faint of heart. I know we are not the only family in this boat. There are thousands if not millions of others who share our terrifying story.

Last night as we knelt down to pray, I just sobbed. I sobbed for her and all her suffering, I sobbed for her Dad and all the stress, fear and frustration this has brought up on him. I cried for all of us as we have fought the good fight, often with little hope of success. But I think what I can truly attribute those tears to is the knowing deep in my heart, that for this little angel and all she has brought to my life, her Dad's life and our families lives, I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

Every terrifying moment has been worth it to see the shine in her face and feel the warmth of her hugs and her joy and enthusiasm when she is in our home. While I cannot control the lack of adult supervision and exposure to unsavory things she experiences in one part of her life, her Dad and I can give her the world, a world of hope, faith, happiness and peace in our home.  And that effort is worth all we have in us. We already reap the rewards in every moment we are privileged to spend with her.