Building A Community of Fellow Stepparents

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We had another good day at the courthouse recently that reminded me of what so many other stepparents, attorneys, social workers and child advocates have said.

Keep doing what you're doing. Keep putting your child(ren) first. Follow the court order and show the court who you are and the life you are creating for your child(ren). Eventually the court will see the situation and realize who is causing problems and what is in the best interests of the child.

Having that faith and keeping securely on that path can be a tough one. That's when having a support network helps. Last summer a young woman came up to me and complimented me after watching my stepdaughter and I together at a museum. When she heard I was the actually the stepmother, she was even more pleased and shared with me a story of her own amazing stepmother and how stepmom and her father fought for her for eight years before her father was finally able to get custody.

She has become a treasured blessing and family friend as we have continued to uncover over the past year that her story is almost identical to our Little One's experience with her mother's addiction and abuse. These two girls, 18 years apart, have become dear friends and there is no one better to help teach our Little One what she must do when she finds herself in a bad situation with her mother.

For me, online connections with other stepmoms has given me a real boost on those days when we are worn down and discouraged from this long and muddied effort to protect this little girl. Sharing our experiences, knowledge and courage is an amazing gift to other families and especially parents who are going down the often difficult and costly road of protecting their children's best interests within the court/legal system.

If you are discouraged, let me encourage you to seek out other stepparents who can be positive influences for you. There are some great bloggers out there sharing inspiring stuff. If you are in a period of calm encourage other stepparents you may find who are struggling. It is so easy to get bogged down in all the negative feelings this situation breeds, but staying positive, focusing on the kids and living your life well is the happiest path for sure!